i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
