So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
