lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize