good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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