i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
