sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
