I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
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