Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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