I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
