Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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