They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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