I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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