either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
