Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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