i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
