So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
