My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
