Cold hands, warm shart.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
