Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize