Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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