I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
