grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
