is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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