True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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