apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
