i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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