Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
