i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
