im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Randomize
