This house was built for laser tag.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
