ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
