I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
