i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
