First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize