...so i touched it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
