oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
