why didn't you poke me back
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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