Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
