Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
