You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
