there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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