New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
