Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
