I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
