the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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