As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
