remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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