I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
