woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
where does the pee come out of this thing
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize