How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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