i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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