Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
