My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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