dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
someone owes me an orgasm
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
