Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
