oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
