Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Damn victory sex feels great
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize