Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
