Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize