As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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