Dual....:-)
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
