You work out of a Hotel?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is Oprah even human
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
