either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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