Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
50% drunk capacity currently
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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