nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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