shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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