she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
