the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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