I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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