at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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