i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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