Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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