i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
