dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
