I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
please come you make the beer taste better
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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