you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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