so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
